1
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:10,943
(dan dazed)
Huh? Wha...?

2
00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:13,645
Was that you, Mr. Mumbles?

3
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:16,815
I need to stop feeding you
tacos before bed...

4
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,650
(mr. mumbles)
MEOWS

5
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:22,755
Yes, I know you
like them, but...

6
00:00:22,757 --> 00:00:27,860
Keep it down, you jerks!

7
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:33,599
Whoa! What was that?
Is my bed on fire?!

8
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:40,439
Huh.

9
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:43,142
Hey! I was going to eat that!

10
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:46,378
Ah! Mr. Mumbles,
we have a problem.

11
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:51,717
Evacuation plan fourteen!

12
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:57,256
Not TWELVE! FOURTEEN!

13
00:00:57,258 --> 00:01:02,561
Good kitty.Now for my clothes.
Clothing's overrated anyway.

14
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:06,165
Vamonos!

15
00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:07,733
Hey!

16
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,436
Whuuh!!!

17
00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:14,006
Mommy, there's a
naked man outside!

18
00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:15,274
Again!

19
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:19,011
Call the police, there's
a monster under my bed!

20
00:01:19,013 --> 00:01:23,782
(little girl giggles)
baby

21
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:28,353
MONSTER UNDER THE BED!

22
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:47,239
Stay here. I'll go get Chris.

23
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:50,275
(mr. mumbles)
meows

24
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,345
(dan o.s.)
chris! chris!

25
00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:55,948
Hey, it's dan.

26
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:58,451
(dan o.s.)
Aahhhh!

27
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,953
Whoa! Hey! Was that
trap meant for me!?

28
00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:02,788
Elise, how could you?

29
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,890
I almost-- Aaaahhhhh!

30
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:09,862
...stupid, no good, reckless,
trap setting...

31
00:02:09,864 --> 00:02:12,064
Hey, Dan... What's new?

32
00:02:12,066 --> 00:02:14,399
Chris! How do I get
out of this thing?

33
00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,935
(chris chuckling)
you could try gnawing

34
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,137
your own leg off.

35
00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:20,506
You think this is funny?!

36
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,975
Elise calls it her "DAN TRAP."

37
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,811
Just get me out of here!

38
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,380
And when's the last time
someone mowed your grass?

39
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,549
This is just slovenly.

40
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:34,086
You took our lawnmower apart to
build a jet pack, remember?

41
00:02:34,088 --> 00:02:35,354
And, It would have worked

42
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:38,991
if you didn't have such
a crappy lawnmower.

43
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:39,925
Come with me.

44
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,827
Do you know what time it is?

45
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:45,364
I don't care what time
it is! I need help.

46
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:48,567
There is a monster under
my bed!

47
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,602
I know how it sounds!

48
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:53,372
Do you? Because you
said it anyway.

49
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:56,942
Listen to me very
carefully: I hate you.

50
00:02:56,944 --> 00:03:00,512
Also, there is a
monster under my bed!

51
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,115
I promised Elise we'd
have a Spa Week.

52
00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:04,883
Sort of a "stay-cation."

53
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,085
First off, that's
not a real thing.

54
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:10,155
Second, there's no time
for your foolishness.

55
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:13,692
I have just been ejected
from my own domicile!

56
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,762
By a monster.
Under your bed.

57
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:19,331
Don't say it like that!

58
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,966
After you ruined our last
vacation

59
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,100
by getting us deported-

60
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:24,136
There's nothing to see in Rome!

61
00:03:24,138 --> 00:03:28,740
I owe Elise a real, "Dan free"
week of relaxation and fun.

62
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,375
For once.

63
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,011
Then we had better settle
this whole "monster" thing

64
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:36,481
as quickly as possible,
hadn't we?

65
00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:38,617
I'll get my keys.

66
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:41,653
Wait! Bring me some pants.

67
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:46,258
Baby.

68
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,927
Don't you have parents?

69
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,463
Do you see it?

70
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:53,998
The monster? No, but I can't see
under your bed from here...

71
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:58,437
Plus, it's a figment of
your imagination.

72
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:01,206
I left my keys inside.

73
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,574
Do you have a spare?

74
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,176
Of course.

75
00:04:04,178 --> 00:04:08,513
What are you doing? Let go!

76
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,483
Yuck. Wash your feet.

77
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:16,088
That's not okay, you know.

78
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:19,091
Stay in front of me.
If this thing eats one of us,

79
00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:22,628
I want it to be you.

80
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:25,881
Well?

81
00:04:25,882 --> 00:04:29,133
I'm sure it was a very
scary dream, Dan.

82
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:32,471
It wasn't a dream!
It was right here!

83
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,273
(chris sarcastic)
Well, I'd check the closet,

84
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:36,241
but I don't think there's
room for a monster,

85
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:38,377
what with all the garbage
and everything...

86
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:41,513
It's not garbage until
I throw it out!

87
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:42,948
I'm going home.

88
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,082
Coward.

89
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:46,184
Wait! Can we stay
with you?

90
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,319
For how long?

91
00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:49,554
Until your imaginary
monster leaves?

92
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:52,891
What are we supposed to do?
Sleep in the car?

93
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:56,762
There's no monster
under your bed, Dan.

94
00:04:56,764 --> 00:05:02,167
Is so!

95
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:04,102
Good night, Mr. Mumbles.

96
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:06,872
(mr. mumbles)
meows.

97
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:17,716
Ah! Ow... Ugh.

98
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:23,322
So they have this hot stone
massage that's supposed to be-

99
00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:27,359
Uh, eggs for me. And the smoked
fish plate for Mr. Mumbles.

100
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,460
Morning, Dan.

101
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:29,695
And not too runny.

102
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:33,565
Last time your eggs did not
reflect your best efforts.

103
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,499
Finally.

104
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,435
You already made Dan
breakfast?

105
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,370
I saw his car out front
when I got the paper.

106
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:39,971
Thought I may as
well.

107
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:43,308
Would it kill you to bring
a guy some orange juice?!

108
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,944
No pulp.

109
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:50,215
Good news, friends. And Elise.
I have just figured out what

110
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:52,651
to do about my little
monster problem.

111
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:56,321
Does it involve therapy?
Medication?

112
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:08,567
No. It involves-
Fine.

113
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:12,337
It involves setting a trap.
I was inspired by the little

114
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:15,240
welcoming gift you left for
me outside.

115
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,608
He really believes there's

116
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,377
a monster under his
bed,doesn't he?

117
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:19,745
Uh-huh.

118
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:24,583
Of course I do! Since the
dawn of time, man has done

119
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:29,154
battle with his greatest foe:
the monster under the bed.

120
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,890
Some cower under
monster-proof blankets.

121
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,860
Others force their teddy bears
to stand guard over them as

122
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,228
they sleep.

123
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:39,631
I, however, choose
the path less taken.

124
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:43,101
I will bring the fight
to the monster itself!

125
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,637
And when I do...

126
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,672
Aw, come on!

127
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:52,911
If the steel spikes don't
get it, the holly stakes will.

128
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,680
I've also taken the liberty
of sprinkling salt, garlic,

129
00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:59,718
holy water, and silver dust
over the jaws of the trap.

130
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:03,755
Whatever kind of monster it is,
this'll take care of it.

131
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,290
Hey, why don't Elise and I take

132
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:06,858
Mr. Mumbles for a
couple of days?

133
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:09,661
I don't want her wandering into
this trap by mistake.

134
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:12,864
You'll let my cat stay with
you, but not your best friend

135
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,733
in the whole wide world?

136
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:17,602
Elise likes Mr. Mumbles.

137
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:36,087
Ha! Gotcha!

138
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:38,690
Ptui!

139
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:42,360
Uh-oh.

140
00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:59,811
Oh! That can't be good.

141
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:11,923
The monster's back! It thwacked
me in the noggin! Come quick!

142
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,959
Bring shotguns!

143
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:15,126
Dan?

144
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:18,363
Did you run here again?
You're covered in sweat.

145
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:21,366
The monster is back and
I have physical proof!

146
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,168
Look at my forehead!

147
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:26,671
Well, that is odd. Don't know
if it's proof of monsters...

148
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,673
It did this with its tentacles!

149
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,243
Would you please help
me kill it now!?

150
00:08:31,245 --> 00:08:34,713
If we don't help him, he's just
going to keep coming over here

151
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,047
in the middle of the night.

152
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:41,920
With my brand new air horn.

153
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,688
Let's go.

154
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,192
Whatever the circumstances,

155
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,361
it's nice to have both
of you for a visit.

156
00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:52,197
This isn't a visit, Dan.
You won't let us sleep.

157
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,331
That's coercion.

158
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,600
You say "tomato..."

159
00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:58,470
Why is it so hard to get
you guys to come over?

160
00:08:58,472 --> 00:09:00,572
Because it's two in
the morning.

161
00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:02,274
So?

162
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:03,975
Are we only friends
during business hours?

163
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,244
I visit you no matter
what time it is.

164
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,246
That's just good manners.

165
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,714
There's nothing down here.

166
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,216
Keep looking!

167
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,717
I don't know why you think
Elise will be able to find

168
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:15,220
a monster under your bed when
clearly the whole thing is

169
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,756
a product of your
overburdened psyche.

170
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:23,461
Uh... Maybe not.

171
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:28,833
Ha! A green thing!
Overburdened psyche, indeed.

172
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:29,634
What is it?

173
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:31,703
It's a scale, I think.

174
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:34,673
But it's not from any reptile
species I've ever seen.

175
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:39,878
See this, Chris?
This is me not gloating.

176
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,213
We can't be sure until I
run some tests at the lab,

177
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:45,083
but I think you might
owe Dan an apology.

178
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:48,787
I'll wait until the
tests come back.

179
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,825
What are we doing here?

180
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,961
You promised me
milkshakes.

181
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:59,564
We can't just sit back and
wait for Elise's stupid

182
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:03,268
science results to solve
a supernatural problem.

183
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:06,771
I should have come here the
minute I knew I had a monster.

184
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,773
Doesn't Madame Zelda
hate you?

185
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:14,079
Hate me? I'm one of her best
customers! She loves me!

186
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:16,581
Last time we were here
she said, and I quote,

187
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:19,351
"If you ever return, I will
ask the spirits to haunt you

188
00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:21,252
mercilessly until the day
you die,

189
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:24,923
and then torment your soul
for a thousand years."

190
00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:28,026
Oh, that's just how
she talks to people.

191
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,861
Why can't we get
something to eat?

192
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:32,764
The sign says this place doesn't
open until ten in the morning.

193
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,766
It's the middle of the night.

194
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:37,135
Ah. That's for tourists.

195
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:42,374
Madame Zelda! Hello?
Madame Zelda!

196
00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:46,945
Who dares disturb the home
office of- YOU!

197
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:49,381
Leave me alone! I hate you!

198
00:10:49,383 --> 00:10:53,852
We both know you don't mean
that. How have you been?

199
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,920
Get off of my property!

200
00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:59,624
You still owe me for the last
time I contact spirits for you!

201
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:00,925
And damages.

202
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:04,329
Of course I'll pay you! I
brought my wallet with me.

203
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:08,299
His name is Chris.

204
00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:16,341
What can Madame Zelda
help you with this evening?

205
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,809
Monster under the
bed.

206
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,344
Ooh, that's a toughie.

207
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:23,715
I can help but it will cost
you a great deal of money.

208
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:29,554
I have some very rare, magical
figurines from Indonesia.

209
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:32,457
Where monster attacks
are down 76%.

210
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:33,858
We'll take them.

211
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,194
That will be two
hundred dollars.

212
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:40,665
Of course. Oh, uh, can I also
get one of your love potions?

213
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:43,301
I'll get it for you.

214
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:47,338
Go! Go! C'mon! Go!

215
00:11:58,852 --> 00:11:59,951
I don't think these are really

216
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:02,387
magical figurines from
Indonesia.

217
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:05,256
Do not accuse Madame
Zelda of lying to us.

218
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:06,725
She knows all.

219
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:09,094
Then how come she doesn't
know you won't pay her?

220
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:12,931
She knows. That's just
a little game we play.

221
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:15,967
I'm pretty sure this is one
of those plastic army guys,

222
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,503
spray painted gold.

223
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:21,072
Hello?
Okay, see you there.

224
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,441
It's Elise.
She's found something.

225
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,984
How does Ninja Dave do it?

226
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:36,387
These taste as good as ones
made with real butter.

227
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:37,689
I'm going to give it
to you straight, Dan.

228
00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:38,656
You're in trouble.

229
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,158
I'm pretty sure the
stuff we got from

230
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,460
Madame Zelda's will
take care of it.

231
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:45,063
I'm pretty sure Madame
Zelda's a fraud.

232
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:46,931
Bite your tongue!

233
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,500
Ahem.

234
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:53,271
Was that the tentacle
that attacked you?

235
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,672
Mmm... Hard to tell.

236
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:57,342
One tentacle tends to looks
like another.

237
00:12:57,344 --> 00:13:01,279
Agsagoth the Devourer?
That doesn't sound good.

238
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,816
Ancient Sumerians believed in
certain "otherworldly beings."

239
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:08,586
And somehow you must have opened
a portal and let one in.

240
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:11,389
Opened a portal. Please.

241
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,725
I don't even open the
door for my mom.

242
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:14,726
Look at the tentacles.

243
00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:16,995
They're exactly how
you described.

244
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:21,132
I did not spend my formative
years watching B-grade sci-fi

245
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,434
movies at 2 a.m. without
learning that

246
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:27,572
LOTS of monsters have
tentacles. Most, actually.

247
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:31,042
Uh, Dan? You should
probably look at this.

248
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:34,012
Based on the scale I analyzed,
that's your monster.

249
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:37,482
I already got an expert
opinion, so there's no need

250
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:41,186
for you to go on one of your
wild flights of fancy.

251
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:46,357
Wild flights of-?! I've been up
half the night, helping you-

252
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:50,228
You know what? I hope
you get devoured.

253
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:53,298
Hey. Drive me home.

254
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,567
Dan, you should really
listen to Elise.

255
00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:57,836
Agsagoth is no joke.

256
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,538
Uh-huh.

257
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,239
First, he marks his victim
with his tentacle.

258
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:02,674
That's already happened.

259
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,376
What, this?
This is just a bruise.

260
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:08,079
Then, he softens you up with
extreme physical pain,

261
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:12,050
and then the mark changes
to his runic symbol.

262
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:15,687
Okay, when that happens,
I'll worry.

263
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:16,721
No, when that happens,

264
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,057
Agsagoth will appear
and devour you.

265
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,426
Look, your concern
is appreciated,

266
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:24,629
but I have the situation
under control.

267
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,222
I think we should run.

268
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,323
That was close.

269
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:55,193
Baby.

270
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:57,395
Rahhhh.

271
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,000
Monsters...

272
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:05,003
They live under your bed, but
never kick in for the rent.

273
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,838
Are you ready to
listen to me now?

274
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,741
That creature was identical
to the one in the book.

275
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:13,411
I'll admit, there was some
passing resemblance.

276
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,913
If you don't get
rid of that thing,

277
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,381
it's going to devour you.

278
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:19,884
There's a reason it's called
"Agsagoth the Devourer."

279
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:23,588
I just don't understand why
he started terrorizing me.

280
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:27,091
What did I ever do
to Agsagoth?

281
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,496
Does this look familiar?

282
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:35,500
No. Should it?

283
00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:38,403
This is the scratch you put
in our car last week.

284
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,604
Allegedly.

285
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,440
Not allegedly, Dan. Actually.

286
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,743
The scratch is identical to
the Ancient Sumerian symbol.

287
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,045
It must have caught
the attention of

288
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:49,347
Agsagoth the Devourer.

289
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,633
So? Fix it.

290
00:15:51,634 --> 00:15:53,918
Dan. If you had read the book,
you'd know it needs to be you

291
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,120
that fixes the scratch,
since you put it there.

292
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,989
Allegedly.

293
00:15:57,991 --> 00:16:01,292
You called this creature here,
and now it's marked you.

294
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,161
Have you forgotten
the next steps?

295
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:06,397
Physical agony, the mark
changes, the beast eats me,

296
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:07,832
blah, blah, blah.

297
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:10,802
So do you want to get rid
of the monster or not?

298
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:12,303
Of course I do!

299
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,239
But I don't see how a
scratch on YOUR car-

300
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:18,943
uugff! Ooh! My guts!

301
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:22,313
It's the second step! Let me see
your forehead!

302
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,449
Let go, lummox...

303
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,884
Uh, Dan? Look.

304
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:36,327
How am I supposed to look at my
own forehead, you jerk?!

305
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:43,101
Okay, now look.

306
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:46,471
Oh... come on!

307
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:52,276
I can't believe I'm spending
my money to fix your car.

308
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:55,046
If it makes you feel any better,
it could have been worse.

309
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:58,049
I'm going to be devoured.
How could it be worse?

310
00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:01,019
A slightly different scratch on
the car, and you could have

311
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:04,956
summoned "Ugraggoth
of the Deviant Art."

312
00:17:04,958 --> 00:17:06,691
Look at what he does to people.

313
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:10,094
Ah! Why would you
show that to me?!

314
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:12,897
Especially when my
stomach's upset.

315
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:16,167
So do you want to hear the
good news, or the bad news?

316
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:19,003
I think I could use some
good news right about now.

317
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:21,339
There is a way to get rid
of the monster under your bed.

318
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,041
Banish it back to
its home dimension,

319
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,043
so it can never return.

320
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,311
I'd prefer to kill it...

321
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:30,081
The ritual involves reading
a specific incantation

322
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:32,417
at the right moment.
There are some items

323
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:34,118
required to perform
the ceremony,

324
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:37,155
but they're relatively
easy to come by.

325
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,623
What's the bad news?

326
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:42,093
It has to be done at a crossing
of the "ley lines," and the

327
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:44,395
closest one is in the middle of
the Canadian wasteland.

328
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:47,231
Ah. Great. Canada.

329
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,399
You'll have to leave tomorrow

330
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,334
if you're going to
make it in time.

331
00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:51,669
And you have to go alone.

332
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:53,905
Fine, but you're
coming with me.

333
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:56,674
Alone Dan!

334
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:09,754
Stupid monsters...
Stupid ritual...

335
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,389
I never thought
I'd see the day.

336
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:13,758
Dan's mowing our lawn.

337
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,660
Well, the ritual
requires several bags

338
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:16,828
of grass clippings.

339
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:19,297
So Dan put our lawnmower
back together, and...

340
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,799
Do you think I have enough yet?

341
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:27,505
Almost. Hey, get closer to
the bushes over there.

342
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:30,908
Fine.

343
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,844
I like it.

344
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,914
Now, I packed you some
sandwiches for your drive...

345
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,616
They better not have
any cheese in them.

346
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:41,319
My guts have had enough
trouble for one week.

347
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,221
Turkey and mustard on white.

348
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:44,755
And I copied the incantation

349
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:47,058
from the book onto this
special parchment.

350
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:49,293
Don't open it until you've
performed the ceremony.

351
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,996
And this is your
purification ointment.

352
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,265
Madame Zelda had
one bottle left.

353
00:18:54,267 --> 00:19:00,438
Well, I'm off.
See you soon. I hope.

354
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,006
Good luck Dan!

355
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,609
Don't get eaten!

356
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:05,576
Spa week?

357
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:08,045
Love to.

358
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:19,357
They never recovered
from that avalanche.

359
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,958
Oh well.

360
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,008
Strip down to my underwear?

361
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:44,282
In this weather? Maybe Chris
packed me a blanket...

362
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:49,487
Aaahhh!

363
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:50,855
Ah!

364
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:55,793
Ugh! Yuck! What is
this stuff?!

365
00:19:55,795 --> 00:20:02,066
Humu-humu-nuku-nuku-apu u-a-a-
Bibbity bobbity-boo-Dan-if-you'

366
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:05,069
're-readin g this-then...
What?

367
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:07,605
"Dan, if you're reading
this, then you're probably

368
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:10,675
in your underwear somewhere
in the Canadian wasteland,

369
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:14,712
and you've just covered
yourself in fish guts."

370
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:15,680
(chris v.o.)
After one too many

371
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:17,181
transgressions on your part,

372
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:20,318
I finally decided that
I had to take action.

373
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,286
Transgressions?!

374
00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:23,654
(chris v.o.)
I can overlook a broken

375
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:27,525
lawnmower and a scratch on our
car, but I knew that as long as

376
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,126
you were around Elise and I

377
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:31,963
would never get to enjoy
our "stay-cation".

378
00:20:31,965 --> 00:20:34,031
There's no such thing!

379
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:35,733
(chris v.o.)
Therefore,

380
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,434
I put a plan in motion...

381
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:07,865
You jerk.

382
00:21:14,007 --> 00:21:18,743
Aahh..Dan should just about be
reading my letter by now.

383
00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:20,578
He's going to be really mad.

384
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,013
He's got to start
listening to me.

385
00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:24,882
Every once in a while, anyway.

386
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:27,518
I'm really proud of you for
standing up to Dan,

387
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,420
however indirectly.

388
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:32,590
Yeah, I'm not really good
at direct confrontation.

389
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:38,362
Besides, all's well
that ends well.

390
00:21:38,364 --> 00:21:43,167
CHRIS!!!

391
00:21:43,217 --> 00:21:47,767
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